I am sorry I was not able to blog much of last week. Am excited to resume this week so let’s jump right into it!
As immigrants or migrants, when we move to America we tend to live with “family”. Family either immediate or extended. We feel comfortable with this idea because in our home country it is common and expected. Unfortunately in most cases, the longer we stay with relatives sometimes the sour our relationship with them becomes.
If you are staying with relative in America, here are a few things to remember:
1. IT IS NOT YOUR HOUSE
Do not get too comfortable to the point where you make your own rules and have your own expectations. Remember you are just sharing the resources they own. You have no “claim” to anything that is theirs. Even if they say ” this is your home”, do not expect to have much privacy. Do not expect your opinion on some house issues to be considered.
2. HELP OUT, CHIP IN
No one should have to tell you to do dishes, laundry or cook. Don’t just cook for yourself, don’t just do laundry for yourself. Offer to do for others. Because here is the cold truth. Them taking you in and mostly not asking you to pay any bills, is stressful for them. Your form of payment will be what you do around the house. Buy grocery every 2 weeks, offer to put gas in the car. An extra mouth to feed and take care of honestly can be a liability, so help out!
3. BE SENSITIVE
You may be new, trying to get on your feet or need a place to stay, be sensitive. The owners of the house may need their own space and their own time. They may snap at you sometimes because they are frustrated . Do not take it all personal. Understand they have their own challenges and issues. Just because they don’t tell you doesn’t mean it is not there.
4. GET OUT
No nice way to say this. Find your own place! be smart with your money,save up as much as you can. Get your own independence. That way you maintain the respect on both sides. Keep the relationship good and amicable. The goal while staying with relatives is to have your own place not stay with them forever.