They say hindsight is always 20/20. I am sitting on the couch with a mug in my hand and a laptop in my lap. I have been thinking lately, with all that I know now: will I have made the decision to move to America? What will I have done differently? Was it all worth it? Was it what I expected? To be honest, there were times when I thought it was not worth it. There were times when I thought that moving here was a waste. There were times when I wanted to curse the decision to start life in a foreign country. I have (had) those days.
But there are also days when I believe it was the best decision. There are days I just want to scream for joy and run around due to immense gratitude. The days when everything seems to be falling into place nicely, those are the days I promise are worth it. Then there are days I do not even think about it. Days I go through the motions without even caring about how different my life would have been. Overtime, I have come to realize that these emotions are triggered by my expectation of a certain outcome of an event( that I have absolutely no control over).
For example: when I look at how much money I spent to come here, how much I sacrificed and compare it to my life in the moment of a single unfavorable situation, it feels like I lost. It feels like I made the wrong choice to move. However, if I take my focus off that one single unfavorable situation and look at the big picture, It looks different.
At the end of the day I could keep saying ” I coulda, shoulda,woulda.” I have a new favorite saying “life’s gonna do what it do.” It is good to have expectations, but it is better not get discouraged when the expectations do not come in our timeline.
So was it all worth it? Will I do it again? The simple answer is this: for every “Heck no! I will not”, I have a “Heck yes! I will.”