I can’t end this series without talking about the role parents play in sibling rivalry. I come from a culture where it’s common for parents to compare their children to one another (and even to others). This is VERY wrong.
Family is really important. If you are fortunate to have people you consider family, (biological or not) embrace them. At the end of the day, family is all you have and family should stick together. If siblings are competing against one another how does that build unity?
It’s nice to grow up with siblings but, when you are the last of 3 kids and the older 2 seem so perfect, it feels like hell. I got compared to my older siblings a lot. Not just from my parents but from teachers, relatives and non-relatives. My brother was a basketball star, smart,everyone loved him, very nice, respectful and outgoing. He was calm and did not cause any trouble. My older sister was extremely smart. Never got into trouble, good christian girl, obedient to our parents, stayed away from boys. Always made the honor roll. Then there was me. Lol, A hurricane! I couldn’t sit still, loved dancing and wanted to be my own person.
In my family, I am the risk taker, the one who has an opinion about everything. I want(ed) to do things outside the box, to do things differently, to find my own path. It took a while for my parents to understand my personality. I love and appreciate them for making the effort to understand me. But before my parents did, it was a challenging time for me. I sometimes jokingly say to my family, it is a miracle I don’t dislike my siblings. I got compared to them so much, it was irritating.
However during that difficult time, my siblings lovingly encouraged and showed me how to be myself and find my own path.
To be continued on Monday….